I don’t even know how to start this off…this year has been tough. I’m tired of faking my happiness and I just haven’t been able to deal with my social life or social media…much less write about anything that’s happened. Chester’s death really shook me – he and Linkin Park have been the soundtrack to much of my life. I have always felt isolated from my family – they don’t really speak of the struggles in life, much less talk about mine — instead the only place I have ever been able to turn to was music — and Chester seemed to understand — he said everything in his lyrics that I’ve always wanted to say, but never could.
I was hoping the year would be better – I had tickets to see Linkin Park, I was dating a nice guy, and then everything fell apart. Seriously, though, looking back at it, I should have known that starting a relationship at a memorial wasn’t a good sign. So, here I am again–broken and trying to pick up the pieces and continue on. But if I’m being honest…I’m so tired tired.